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Community Forums › Miniature Gaming › GW Blood Bowl › TEAM REPORT: Skatlan Skullsplittas
TEAM REPORT: Skatlan Skullsplittas

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ScottishJon
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Joined: Dec 31, 1969
Posts: 52
Location: Cheney

PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 7:53 am    Post subject: TEAM REPORT: Skatlan Skullsplittas

Skatlan SkullSplittas

A Bunch of Orcs who often forget that they playing bloodbowl in favor of hitting stuff. Plan often backfires as is shown by their 0-3 record. Games are often brutal, with three players dying in three games, two in one turn (Thanks Carl...). All this has left several of the boyz suffering sudden groin strains every time Chaos is mentioned.

After Chaos, Dwarfs and Chaos again, the SS are looking forward to punching something that squishes easier.

Star Player Naffurty Urtygul (3 Comps; 1 MoM) had this to say - "Just sum elvez. or dos rats. sumthin that stays down. N stops killin da blitzaz."

Head Coach, Goblin Grits MaGork was unavailable for comment as his team practised several blitz actions on him.

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ScottishJon
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 12:02 pm    Post subject: Re: TEAM REPORT: Skatlan Skullsplittas

UPDATE ----> SkullSplittas to Sign NakSnot?

Skatlan SkullSplittas Team Owner Nazza Worten was spotted earlier this week with disgraced former NazGul Steelaz blitzer Vink NakSnot. Many of you may remember NakSnots time with the Steelaz, and his many Awards (Most Matches Thrown by a Player; Glass Jaw of the Year; Highest Paid Player; Most diseased player (runner up)). This old out of shape match fixing veteran would fill a gap in the sorely underorced blitzer position

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ScottishJon
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 6:22 am    Post subject: Re: TEAM REPORT: Skatlan Skullsplittas

UPDATE ------> Urtygul a Hurty Girl ?

Splittas Star Player Naffurty Urtygul had the following to say after being sent to the injury box on Tuesday nights thrilling game.

"Der was freee of dem, alrite ? Dey might be titchy but theyz bite and scratch. I was in needz of medical atten...atten...'elp. "

Asked by our interviewer how he recieved help with no apothecary, Urtygul simply grabbed his knee and limped away.


UPDATE ------> Splittas Actually win.

A whole story in a headline


UPDATE ------> New Blitza has strong words for D.A.M.M

Star Player, or Easily bribed idiot ? Those are the qustions posed for new Skullsplittas blitza, Vink NakSnot. However at the Press Conference to announce his signing, Vink avoided these questions to cryptically trash D.A.M.M

"Stuntez, Ponyz. A Big fat head. Da Namez Naksnot."

Many believe Vik still suffers from the Head injury inflicted on him by his old team mates from when he faked injury in the dying seconds of the game instead of getting the TD.


UPDATE ----->"Kev" Merchandise sales through the roof !

Skullsplittas lone goblin Kev has become something of a fan favorite since his signing two games ago. Thinking of himself more blitza then goblin, he has blitzed Chaos Warriors and Kroxigors, proving once again that its not the size of the man that counts. Comedian Kev had this to say -

"If I don't do it, the boss looks me in a room with Mege, and tells 'im to eat me."

What a guy. Fans have given him the nickname, "Kev the Pusher". Asked how he plans to deal with a Minotaur, he replied by collapsing in tears, counting his toes. The little guy knows comedy

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fe2mike
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Joined: Dec 31, 1969
Posts: 397
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 12:23 pm    Post subject: Re: TEAM REPORT: Skatlan Skullsplittas

A whole story in a headline

Man, that was funny!
Made me just crack up

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ScottishJon
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Posts: 52
Location: Cheney

PostPosted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 2:34 pm    Post subject: Re: TEAM REPORT: Skatlan Skullsplittas

WK 5 ROUND-UP - SPLITTAS Vs. D.A.M.M

After Inducing Blitza Nuffin Swurfit, the Splittas looked like they had a shot at making it two wins in a row. Jobbing Lineorc Gazza Snotez had his contract permanently terminated by a Chaos Dwarf in turn 2, the Splittaz replied with a TD in turn 4, when a Hobgoblin fumbled the ball into Swurfits hands, allowing him to run it in for the point.

DAMM instantly replied, when a high kick landed on the Bull Centaurs head. Stuck on his helmet spike, DAMMs head coach placed a Hot Dog cart in the end zone, allowing the half horse hero to run it in for the score.

Other highlights included

Minotaurial Grazing
Goblin bullying
Orcs given the last laugh as a frenzied Minotaur runs into group of five orcs.

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ScottishJon
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 11:33 am    Post subject: Re: TEAM REPORT: Skatlan Skullsplittas

UPDATE -----> ORC ON ORC ACTION! WK 6 PREVIEW

Its gonna be carnage as the Skullsplittas take on Da Haf Wytz in this thrilling match.

Both teams are still recovering from Hakaels Hackers' skills at maiming greenskins, Will this be an issue on Game Day ?

And with another lineorc dead, will a Splitta be able to stay alive for a whole game ?

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ScottishJon
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PostPosted: Thu May 11, 2006 12:50 pm    Post subject: Re: TEAM REPORT: Skatlan Skullsplittas

UPDATE: WEEK 6 - DID HE TRIP, OR WAS HE PUSHED ?

Splittaz Blitza Vink Naksnot "Tripped" and fell, giving up position for a vital blitz that would have halted Da Haf Wyts scoring drive. With his match fixing past, Splittaz fans are asking the question, Did he trip? Or is he still a bribe taking Scumbag?
We cornered Vink while he was getting off of his new BigMobileWagon. He had this to say -
"I don't know nuffin about gettin dis BMW for not 'ittin da one wif da ball"

UPDATE: Alfee AWOL for Splittaz training session

After Splittaz fans welcomed Alfee to the team with a rock to the face, Alfee has been noticably absent from team training sessions. Rumors persist that some of the teams star players castrated his wolf in the parking lot, and plenty more hazing stories have been circulating. Asked about this, Grits MaGork said the following

"Just cause we got Mege to frow him against a wall lots and lots, doesn't mean nuffin. Dat is a standard orcy play. Iz called da "Kill da Twat" play.

If this continues, it's highly likely that alfee will become something of a "loner" unless the team can accept him.

UPDATE: OPEN CHALLENGE

Western Conference Team the Skatlan Skullsplittaz have offered an open challenge for a pick up game, this Friday evening

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